Trauma-Informed Collaboration: Leadership Lessons from Week One

“We had a dog who snapped if you got too close.”
“She must have had some trauma.”
“Yeah… she had some issues for sure.”
— Sally Rooney, Intermezzo (2024)

A simple exchange—and a reminder that people carry whole histories into every room. How we meet them matters.

This week, I started a course on trauma-informed collaboration with Greater Than. “Trauma” can sound heavy, but a useful shorthand is this: it’s not the event; it’s the impact on the nervous system.

Practitioners often describe trauma as “too much, too fast, too soon” for the system to integrate. It shows up at individual, group, and systemic levels. And there isn’t a tidy hierarchy of whose experience “counts.” As one participant said, “We all show up with our own backpack of experiences.”

What Trauma-Informed Leadership Is Not

• Walking on eggshells
• Avoiding difficult conversations

What It Is

• Recognising each person’s unique life experience and stress response
• Reading state before content (are we in fight/flight, shut-down, or connection?)
• Bringing compassion and clarity to goals, roles, and boundaries

The Polyvagal Lens in Plain Language

• Shutdown (freeze/collapse): protect and pause
• Fight/flight (activation): mobilise, but can misfire under stress
• Connection (regulated/ventral): social engagement, learning, creativity

Practical Practices for Real Teams

• Arrive regulated: breathe, slow your cadence, steady your tone
• Co-regulate: sit with the team when stakes are high; stay present when tension spikes
• Name the terrain: what we know, what we don’t, and the next small, reversible step
• Shorten feedback loops: schedule check-ins and adjust quickly
• Hold firm, kind boundaries: repair quickly when you miss

This isn’t about being “soft.” It’s about creating conditions where hard things can be said, heard, and acted on.

When leaders show up steady and honest—even about uncertainty—teams shift from “that will never work” to “we don’t know yet, but we trust you enough to try.”

Kholo’s Perspective: Nervous-System Leadership

At Kholo, we bring nervous-system awareness together with clear ways of working—so collaboration becomes safer, faster, and more truthful.

This is where leadership resilience meets system design. And it’s where transformation becomes possible.

Conclusion

Trauma-informed leadership is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for collaboration in complex times.

At Kholo, we help leadership teams create the conditions where trust, clarity, and resilience thrive. Get in touch.

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